the compulsive newYork Mix26-09282 – FESCH.TV

the compulsive newYork Mix26-09282 & FESCH.TV:

September 27th, Friday
Dream: ‘I am happy knowing that this young man is wanting to suck my penis; he likes me and that is the feeling that makes me glow for a while knowing this. He is an unknown anonymous young White man near but barely age 20.’
Dream Image: ‘The Squiggly Path.’ A walking path of sand or pebbles about 5 ft wide or nearly 1.5m wide with a brick height border of granite stone lining both sides. I don’t see garden or plants around it. It is only a path and it has a squiggly zigzagging shape to it not in a conforming rigid pattern.
Associations: There’s only been one event in my real life in which a young man sucks my cocks. We were ‘lovers,’ more him to me than I to him. He was for me an artist, the artist I wanted to be. He wrote poetry in the French late 19th early 20 Century non-rhyming free-wheeling fashion of Arthur Rimbaud and Guillaume Apollinaire. We met at the University of California at Berkeley where I was studying architecture. I needed to find a room-share and he and his friend, a cello player, had a 2nd floor apartment right on one of the surrounding campus roads with a large avocado tree in the front yard. He took, as they say, a shine to me. I was balled over by his poetry, his drawings and his ability to remember the plot lines, lyrics and music of Mozart’s several lively operas like Cosi fan Tutte, Marriage of Figaro and especially The Magic Flute.
We drove in my 1942 Pontiac ‘straight 8 cylinder’ blue coupe back to New York, rented a loft on West 28th Street in the Flower District and after several months together there without sexuality, he finally lost patience and begged me to let him suck my cock. I sat on a stool, he kneeled on the floor, and sucked my cock to …I think, to orgasm. It is so long ago. 1954 possibly. I was supposedly Class of 1955 MIT but never graduated there, nor at UC Berkeley and not at Royal Academy of Fine Arts Copenhagen which was my last two years of architectural schooling. For the next 50 years I earned my living as designer and illustrator of architectural design projects.
His name was Frank Hansen, originally from Indiana or somewhere in Midwest USA with Scandinavian immigrants usually farmers. His nom de plume was taken from Sören Kierkegaard, the Danish existentialist philosopher, combined with his homosexuality – Sören Agénoux (kneeling). He died of AIDS as far as I know but had an artist career with The Living Theater here on the Upper Westside New York with Judith Malina & Julian Beck, as well as being part of the Andy Warhol entourage.
It was with an actress Judy from The Living Theater with whom I had my first and only legal marriage back in 1956 or so which we had in the civil court office of Baden Baden, in South Germany near the Schwarzwald Mountains. We had traveled by train from Copenhagen, wanting the blessings of the Buddhist Zen Master named Graf von Dürckheim, the guru of our Swiss singing teacher in Copenhagen, who had urged us to go there to meet with him at his retreat in Todtmus-Rütte. He died there in 1988 at age 92.
The meaning for me of the Squiggly Path is I suppose the contrast to how I view myself as a rigid and conservative disciplinarian, at least that’s how my two daughters, now 61 and 60, experience me and accept me as their father as such. There’s a chance that finally in my old age I can let some of my guard-rails down, turn from straight lines to bending and swirling lines …maybe.
12:30p: I see in my email from the tech guru, to whom I sent the graphic upgrade to his transcoded upgrade to HD of the ‘Tango Lesson’ film, the following words: “I’ve got your video with the letterbox treatment. The colors and treatment are good and I wasn’t distracted by them. The full screen effect is distinctly superior to the original SD. No guarantees it will be universally acceptable, but I think it’s legit for material in this category.” THIS MAKES ME HAPPY!
5:30p: While eating lunch watching MSNBC, two climate control scientists were interviewed – Bill Nye, science educator and Michael Mann, environmental scientist. They addressed the ‘undecided’ part of US voters saying that if you’re concerned about climate change, there can be no indecision – Kamala & Harris. The other is a climate denier and depends on fossil fuel donors on his campaign.
5:45p: MY INTERNET IS DOWN. I’m going to MOMi for tonight’s program.
9:29: NO INTERNET.
9:39: INTERNET – this is after 5 hours and ten minutes of endless self-congratulatory AI sales pitches without agent help, I disconnected power lines to both modem and router for 10 sec and then wait 30 sec for lights on both to come on. LIFE WITHOUT INTERNET IS LIKE LIFE WITHOUT OXYGEN – ZERO. NADA. AMAZING HOW 25 YEARS HAVE CHANGED MY LIFE SINCE 2000. [I never left for MOMi. I fell asleep watching news programs.]